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San Antonio Express-News
'Father Factor' can affect career path
06/18/2006 So you got those dreamy eyes, your sparkling wit and a genetic makeup that keeps you looking 10 years younger than you really are all from dear old Dad. Lucky you. But did you know your old man might have a hand in your career successes, professional relationships and maybe even the direction in which your résumé has taken you? One expert thinks so. Stephan Poulter, a clinical psychiatrist specializing in father-child relationships, says as much in "The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career." In the book, Poulter explains that because men are often "solely defined by their work," fathers have a bigger role in forming the work ethic of their sons and daughters. This is determined by the level of emotional attachment Dad has with the kids; the unwritten "rule book" regarding jobs, ethics, finances and, of course, relationships that dads pass on through their own behavior; and his fathering style. Some styles overlap, he says, but one usually takes center stage. Poulter divides the dads of the world into five fathering categories: Passive, Absent, Compassionate Mentor, Superachiever And Time Bomb. The book provides quiz questions to help readers put Pop into the right category. Each category has strengths, weaknesses and consequences. For example, an Absent dad can lead to a resentful superachieving kid who wants to be everything the father wasn't - and who is resentful of male bosses. A Superachiever could be a fellow whose accomplishments leave his peers in the dust and who pushes hard for results at home as well, resulting in an Underachiever who is reluctant to compete. The Passive dad, a member of the most popular category, is a heck of a guy. He brings home the bacon and leaves the emotional stuff and day-to-day child rearing to Mom. Thing is, the kids later have a hard time expressing themselves and communicating with colleagues. But even Time Bomb dad delivers perks. On "Good Morning America," Poulter used former President Bill Clinton's stepfather as an example of this type of dad, explaining that Clinton attributed his exceptional ability to read people to having had to figure out his stepfather's mood. Folks with dads like this, Poulter told "Good Morning" co-anchor Robin Roberts, tend to be successful at personnel jobs. The Compassionate Mentor seems to be the dad most likely to pave the way to success. He's the one who supports your strengths and tells you not to sweat the small stuff. Poulter says the Compassionate Mentor, an ideal role model, represents only 10 percent of all fathers. It makes sense one would get an imprint on earning a living from the guy expected to provide, protect and go out and kill the giraffes, as Newt Gingrich would put it. Poulter has a point - perhaps some careers could get a shot in the arm after a thorough examination of dad's legacy. But if the road to professional success is paved with Daddy's messages, this theory is helpful on another, more practical level: Poulter's book, intended to help jump-start careers, could serve as a social signpost for today's paterfamilias. It's been said that children learn what they live, but grumpy Time Bomb dad might take note if he thinks all he has to do is keep the cash flowing into the college fund. Perhaps Passive pop could see the benefit to taking on a bigger role if he knew it could be as helpful as grad school. And a workaholic Absent dad might be more willing to reprioritize. Why use this information in hindsight, when it can be used as a template? But, as it goes with most pop psychology, nothing is set in stone. Poulter cautions against using this theory to make Pop into a piñata. One can't blame Dad for everything that goes wrong at the salt mine. "This is a piece of the puzzle," Poulter said on ABC. "But you have the keys to your future, and knowing more helps you unlock and move forward." Makes sense. It's not about blaming, but about learning, improving and constantly updating the rule-book for the future - a good direction for career-building as well as family-building. If that's not enough, just be thankful for the good genes. SBP Home | About | Books | Speeches And Services | Reading Room | Store | In The News | Get In Touch
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