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Dads are influence on our work lives
Career tips: Anita Bruzzese
June 28, 2006
What kind of employee are you? Do you work hard every day, always striving for perfection? Are you considered a slacker, never quite measuring up to your boss's expectations? Or do you avoid having any kind of connection with those you work with, instead keeping your distance in order to keep the peace?
If any of these sound familiar, a new book suggests that you look no further than your father when you are seeking answers to why you act the way you do at work.
"I call it the 'father factor.' It means that there is a conscious and unconscious awareness of the impact of our fathers on our career and on our life," says Stephen Poulter, a clinical psychologist. "The rules your father handed to you, such as your drive, your motivation, the way you handle money -- this is the road map that you take direction from in your career."
In his book, "The Father Factor: How Your Father's Legacy Impacts Your Career" (Prometheus Books, $18), Poulter says five fathering styles create the father factor.
Those are:
- Superachieving. "It's all about looking good. These fathers work really hard, and they have kids that are very responsible and very driven."
- Time bomb. "This dad is often alcoholic or very volatile and heavy-handed," Poulter says. "The kids learn early on how to read people in order to survive." As workers, these people often avoid conflict, yelling and expressing any degree of anger or frustration, emotional tension or dealing with unresolved conflict in the workplace. These workers often have a lot of anxiety, and suffer from low self-esteem on the job.
- Passive. "This father showed his love through his actions. He was very responsible and stable, but lacked courage and motivation," Poulter says. As a result, these children become workers who are emotionally distant, which is difficult in today's labor force where employees may change jobs or careers many times, and need to be able to connect with people again and again.
- Absent. "This is the father who is not involved in a child's life," Poulter says. "When the first man we love leaves our lives, it often produces an angry or aloof employee in the workplace."
- Compassionate mentor. "This is where we all want to be, what we should all work toward," Poulter says. "These fathers help a child find a road map and help center them. In the workplace, these are the children that grow up to motivate people around them, and empower others, as they were as children."
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