Are you an expectant or new father? Congratulations, and welcome to the most exciting time of your life. Many men believe that fathers don’t matter much in the early years. They leave the raising and nurturing of their infants and toddlers up to Mom. But this is a big mistake: fathers are critically important from Day One, and getting involved from the beginning helps you forge a powerful emotional bond with your child that will continue throughout his or her life.

Tips for Fathers of Babies up to Two Years Old:

* Make consistent physical contact with your baby. Babies thrive when they are held compared to babies who are left in their crib for many hours a day. Babies need to be held by their father. Burp her and tickle her as ways to maintain this contact.

* When your baby cries, jump up to take care of him as often as your wife does. Learn to change your son’s diapers at least once a day and carry him around at night if he’s crying, singing songs to comfort him. This is an excellent chance for you and your son to become “buddies” on these late night excursions around the house.

* Talk to your baby. Tell her your story. She may not understand what you’re telling her, but she’ll find your voice soothing and it will build an emotional connection. Plus, you’ll find it connects you to her as you tell her about who you are, what you do for a living, what you hope to accomplish with your life.

* Play games. Babies, especially boys, love the physical touch and roughhousing with their father; they enjoy tossing things back and forth. This kind of play helps a young boy to understand boundaries and limits for him and others. Boys feel loved when they have physical playtime with their father.

Tips for Fathers of Toddlers from Two to Three Years Old:

* Set up weekly situations or circumstances where your child can climb, jump, walk, and run without your direct supervision. She needs free playtime with you as observer rather than participant. Children love to be watched by their fathers; it fosters feelings of security.

* Plan trips to the zoo, aquarium, petting zoo, wild animal park, or to the pet store. Touching and talking to animals and sea life is a great form of exploration.

* Give your child permission to choose his favorite food two or three nights each week. Even if this food is something you frown upon, indulge him two or three nights and create a healthier menu for his other meals. This is a good opportunity to balance his autonomy with boundaries. Many times, men won’t become involved in “kitchen” issues, but this is an ideal time for you to get involved. Food can be an area around which fathers and children can bond.

* Establish non-negotiable areas. If everything is negotiable, your child will have little sense of where the boundaries are. Make it clear to her that certain actions—running into the street for a ball, talking to strangers, hitting her sister with a plastic baseball bat—are forbidden.

It is critical that expectant and new fathers form a strong emotional bond with their child. If you feel that unresolved issues relating to your own father may prevent you from doing so, you might wish to engage the counseling services (in person or via telephone) of Dr. Stephan Poulter. He also offers a keynote presentation/workshop entitled The Journey Begins: Starting Fatherhood on the Right Foot. Click here or more information.